So there I was sitting on my bed urging myself to go to work but losing the battle. It was the Tuesday after Easter Monday where I’d enjoyed a glorious four-day weekend. It’s hard going back to work after the two days, let alone four days off! (Although I have been struggling to get to work for many months due to my struggle with depression and anxiety.) I whipped out my phone and searched YouTube for an inspirational video and came across this. As the video went on I felt tears gliding down my face as I realised how right he was. I wasn’t trying hard enough. There was never a right time and there was always something getting in the way. I felt so much more empowered from then on so I threw on my work clothes, slipped on my shoes and left the house.
I settled into my mundane administrative job at the office but my mind was constantly distracted. I was finding it hard to focus as thoughts and ideas were whirling around in my head. I never wanted this as a job. I just allowed myself to go down this route because it was an easy thing to do and here I am now wishing that I’d made a change all those years ago! The only person I can blame for that is myself but I am now at a stage where I AM ready to make a change. I AM ready to pursue my dreams. I WILL NOT be held back any longer by my fears and anxieties or the views of other people! It feels great just to say that like a weight has been lifted and replaced with a surge of excitement of possibility! I don’t want to waste this moment to allow this anxiety to manifest deeper within me. I really do want to see things from a different perspective and I started thinking:
I want to see myself as an equal and not less worthy.
I want to realise my potential and not live in regret.
Why should anyone else have power over my destiny?
What is stopping me? Is there a way around it?
I do not want to be so consumed by other people’s thoughts. What does their opinion matter to me?
I am an individual and everyone is unique. I should be myself.