Hi, my name is Rachel. I am 30 years old and I live in the UK. Welcome to my blog!!  Follow me on my journey as I battle anxiety and depression.

Love is eternal

We often ponder the meaning of life or how to live well but when you know someone who is losing their life through illness it is alarmingly apparent. A dear colleague of mine had sadly passed away having lost her battle with breast cancer and in her final words she describes the smell of freshly …

Commitment issues

I’m sat here looking at the keyboard wondering what to write. It’s been a while and a lot seems to have happened but somehow I’ve not found the energy to blog about it. The most predominant issue has been to do with my upcoming marriage to my fiancé but also the ongoing battle with my …

Rumination

I was at the Carphone Warehouse in Currys upgrading my phone when a man entered my personal space and I was momentarily perplexed until I recognised the man as a doctor from work. He began talking to me and we chatted for a minute or two until he went his own way. I think when …

Depressed Addict

There is something quite liberating about depression, who would have thought it? I no longer care about what anyone thinks of me, fuck them all. Words that I would usually soften or lies I would tell to avoid hurting your feelings is no longer a worry, I say what I mean and you just have …

Dead Eyes

Look in to my eyes There’s no-one there Not looking back Glazed, dead eyes No hint of acknowledgement Not even a twitch I turn and walk away Closed off from everything and everyone Leave me alone.

The Past

With everything that’s going on with my anxiety recently it has brought to light certain things. May be things I’d buried or rather not think of because of the sadness they cause me. I’m often questioned about my anxiety, everyone wants to know why. Why are you anxious? What brought it on? And to be …

Weak

(Transferred from Wattpad. Written 10th January 2017) I'm trapped in a body that I can't control. It becomes weak and lethargic. I have plans but I am unable to establish them. My mind has great power over my limbs. I am a slave to their being. I can see what I desire but it feels …