Hi, my name is Rachel. I am 29 years old and I live in the UK. Welcome to my blog!! Follow me on my journey as I battle anxiety and depression.
Getting to know you
With CBT I'm often asked to record a thought diary and more recently I'm starting behavioural experiments. I was at work one day and we were all to meet for lunch in the meeting room as we'd recently recruited new staff so it was a "Getting to know you" type of get together. Buffet food …
Rumination
I was at the Carphone Warehouse in Currys upgrading my phone when a man entered my personal space and I was momentarily perplexed until I recognised the man as a doctor from work. He began talking to me and we chatted for a minute or two until he went his own way. I think when …
Depressed Addict
There is something quite liberating about depression, who would have thought it? I no longer care about what anyone thinks of me, fuck them all. Words that I would usually soften or lies I would tell to avoid hurting your feelings is no longer a worry, I say what I mean and you just have …
Dead Eyes
Look in to my eyes There’s no-one there Not looking back Glazed, dead eyes No hint of acknowledgement Not even a twitch I turn and walk away Closed off from everything and everyone Leave me alone.
The Past
With everything that’s going on with my anxiety recently it has brought to light certain things. May be things I’d buried or rather not think of because of the sadness they cause me. I’m often questioned about my anxiety, everyone wants to know why. Why are you anxious? What brought it on? And to be …
Weak
(Transferred from Wattpad. Written 10th January 2017) I'm trapped in a body that I can't control. It becomes weak and lethargic. I have plans but I am unable to establish them. My mind has great power over my limbs. I am a slave to their being. I can see what I desire but it feels …
Boring
(Transferred from Wattpad. Written: 10th January 2017) You were talking to us about how boring some people's girlfriends were that you knew, that you had lost patience with them as there were not able to maintain a conversation. At this point I started to feel odd as I felt that you were also criticising me …
Depression & Work
It seems you're not allowed to be depressed or anxious without a reason. Every time I feel low and depressed I end up sleeping for hours on end with no enthusiasm to do anything let alone making an appearance at work. The thought of waking up to go to work is so excruciating I find …
Unnecessary Request
(Transferred from Wattpad. Written:5th January 2017) Who are you to ask this of me? Who am I to accept orders from you? Are you above my worth? Do I consider myself a lowly servant to your every whim? I agree downtrodden to your request, however when I create a distance between us I find …
Flying Saucer
My tongue is puffy like a flying saucer and deep inside it tingles because really I want to fly away.
