Hi, my name is Rachel. I am 31 years old and I live in the UK. Welcome to my blog!! Follow me on my journey as I battle anxiety and depression.
It’s not so bad…
I’m not sure how to begin this particular blog. I just felt that I needed to write about it in the hope of clearing my head of negativity. These negative thoughts popped in to my mind yesterday evening once I was alone. Perhaps subconsciously realising I was safe to bring the emotional pain up to …
You got me
You got me while I was alone Turned out the lights Left me out in the cold questioning everything.
Chronic Fatigue
I was referred by my doctor to the Chronic Fatigue Clinic. After some waiting, I was contacted by the team and called in for an initial appointment where they asked me questions to get an idea of my history and to determine whether they could help me. I had been keeping a log of symptoms …
Update
I thought I would post an update today about where things are with me at the moment as I've not posted much recently. As you may know from my previous posts, I did a 16 week high intensity CBT course to target my social anxiety and finished this at the end of June 2017. After …
I’m scared for the future.
I’m scared for the future today because my husband said that he might not come with me to a family meal. Sounds a bit dramatic, doesn’t it? What upset me is how bothered I was by the possibility that I would have to go without him. I was panicked in a split second. One minute …
Love is eternal
We often ponder the meaning of life or how to live well but when you know someone who is losing their life through illness it is alarmingly apparent. A dear colleague of mine had sadly passed away having lost her battle with breast cancer and in her final words she describes the smell of freshly …
Commitment issues continued
Read Part One Here! First of all I can officially announce that I am married! I did go through with the wedding despite my concerns. I wasn't able to bring myself to cancelling or delaying the wedding, after all I sincerely love my other half and wouldn't want to lose him from my life. And …
The Forbidden
You are the forbidden, yet you are desired. I know it is wrong. It is inappropriate and prohibited. But still I crave for you, to have my lust returned. I require your adoration, to feel wanted....needed I ache for more than I have But to ruin it all is a path I can't bear, the …
Commitment issues
I’m sat here looking at the keyboard wondering what to write. It’s been a while and a lot seems to have happened but somehow I’ve not found the energy to blog about it. The most predominant issue has been to do with my upcoming marriage to my fiancé but also the ongoing battle with my …
Getting to know you
With CBT I'm often asked to record a thought diary and more recently I'm starting behavioural experiments. I was at work one day and we were all to meet for lunch in the meeting room as we'd recently recruited new staff so it was a "Getting to know you" type of get together. Buffet food …